That Thing Called Love

I know I've been rather late to publish my first. This post should have been published by late Sunday night (I'd still call it late Sunday night though some of you may argue Feb 15, 2010 4:00 am is Monday dawn). We'll keep this debate for some other time. I'm glad that the V day celebrations for this year are finally over! I saw bouquets and chocolates being delivered by innumerable courier agencies and online portals who couldn't make it on Sunday, cakes being cut, some kissing, hugging and cuddling here-there-everywhere even until late Monday evening by those who could not make it up on Sunday; so it is safe to say it is finally over now. We need at least a day's buffer when these days fall on a weekend ;) I'm not happy it is over because I'm a die-hard fan of this party or that; nor cuz I vehemently oppose PDA with couples almost making out at Nariman Point or Bandstand nor cuz I pity those guys who by now must have burnt a hole in their pockets buying the most expensive Joolry yet again to prove they love their spouses. I'm just happy that I can move out and breathe some fresh air now. That I can go to places I like all alone without being stalked upon by a couple. That being a single doesn't hurt anybody anymore until the next Valentine.

For some reason I'm unaware of, I become a victim of house arrest on these so-special days. I'm unreachable on this day... Lying awake in my blanket, checking the radium dial of my watch to see if its dawn yet. For someone who's had failed relationships, this should perhaps be a way of life. I'm not complaining. But as a torchbearer of always-single-on-Valentines brigade, I find it really difficult to explain anyone where am I and what different am I doing this time vis-a-vis last year. Deep in my heart I know it has always been the same for as long as I remember. Comfortably seated on the couch, alone at home munching on chips & colas, hitting the remote to change a blur picture into something equally unamusing, until I finally switch it off, get online to see if there's anything new and finally lie down awake on my bed waiting for the sun to rise again (checking the radium dial, yes). It isn't a crime to be single even in a social networking era, but you're considered a thug if you walk into a popular hangout place alone on that evening. The guys think you've come to steal their better half from them. Half the place is already occupied and the other half is reserved. Being a stag on this eve is even worse than 31st. Scores of eyes questioning your unintended intentions are bound to make you feel uncomfortable. Chips and colas suddenly taste a lot better than a hot latte and muffin. Your pillow is a lot better than a soft teddy and Cadburys dairy milk tastes yummier than ferrero rocher or original Belgian chocolates. Looking at an expensive pendant and ‘matching’ ear rings I tell her, “Should this evening be this expensive, I'm happy being single for another couple of years.” “Loser”, she retorts “this was my 1^st Valentine with him, Bhavresh. It was bound to be special.” I simply nod.

What’s more amusing is when celebrities talks about how they would want to spend this day. Local English daily caught up with some tinsel town damsels and all 6 seemed to be looking out for me; and here was I, all alone biting on junkie food. Here’s what they had to say.

ABC: I want my man to give me some space. The kind of profession I’m in, it gets difficult for me to give him as much time as he deserves. He should understand this. 7 out of 10 guys have got no problems with this. 7 of the same 10 guys are still single, don’t know why. ABC has plenty of choice to choose from only if she meant what she said.

XYZ: I want my man to be passionate. By that I mean strong-minded, intelligent and self-made. I’m tight lipped about this. 11 out of 10 guys would be passionate I think, not wanting to exaggerate. And you don’t need to be very intelligent to be with a gal. An average bloke should do well. Move on…

If I were to sit here and talk about all 6 of them, you’d probably roll on the floor, laughing. To summarize, he should be humorous, spontaneous, intelligent and respects women - not too much to ask for I think so, so long as they aren’t accompanied by gift wrapped swiss from Longines or a LV bag or perfume from Imperial Majesty.

I’ve my fingers crossed. The next one isn’t going to be as intimidating as this one. Let’s hope...